大学申请和自我反思

（^屏幕，我已经看到在过去的两个月。）

好了，我最近写了很多。不，不是因为我终于想通了如何敲定那些小小说的想法种子到实际工作的情节之一，但由于它的高的大四学校，这意味着大学申请。

fun.

i’ve been blogging since 2011…or 2012? (since the beginning of middle school, for sure) and i’ve seen tens of hundreds of other bloggers going through the college application process throughout the past 7 years. tens of hundreds of high school seniors struggling to figure out where they’re applying to, how to write their essays, and going through the agonizing wait between clicking submit on the common app and getting that “congratulations!” or “we regret to inform you…” email. yet, despite seeing this process over and over again, i’m a bit surprised by it.

college application essays are some of the hardest i’ve ever had to write, but also some of the essays i’ve been most grateful to write. shocker, right? it is to me—i never expected myself to gain a kind of fondness for these essays, after all. but here’s the thing: in these essays, you’re pitching yourself to colleges. you’re condensing yourself into 650 words (more or less) and hoping that the admissions officers will manage to comprehend a 3d version of you from the stark black text that you’re submitting. being able to do that requires knowing yourself well. very well. and what kind of 17 year old knows themselves that well?

so there’s been a lot of self-reflection lately, a lot of remembering buried childhood memories, and a helluva lot thinking about who i am versus who i want to be. i’ve been digging through a lot of poetry and prose, trying to figure out how to display myself in words as well as those artists do. honestly, i’m spending more time on the pre-writing than the actual writing of my essays, but i’m getting there. or, you know, i think i am? (who knows. i’m completely rewriting my common app for the 12^日时间和一次，这不是夸张。）

i’m enjoying it at least—as much as i can enjoy something that’s so stressful at the same time. there’s a certain kind of satisfaction that comes when you finish an essay about yourself and a certain kind of epiphany that comes that says哇哦。这实际上是who i am.

anyways, just a check in as to why i’ve been so mia (even though I kind of always am…I PROMISE THAT WILL CHANGE SOON. PROMISE). also writing this post was a nice break from all the essays (and by break, i mean total procrastination).

附：哪里都是那些在他们申请大学的YA小说？大四那年是不完整的没有大学申请。我正在将目光投向那些当代爱情小说，现在对我说谎的事实是戏剧和爱情将是大四压力最大的事情。

P.P.S.这是诚实不可能的，我写的东西，这不是至少隐约紫色散文？出于某种原因，这是奇怪的实现，我有一个独特的写作风格。